Saturday, June 16, 2012

Galaxy defenders my ass.

Nothing about Men in Black 3 is fun. It's a dark, sadistic, racist, and generally depressing film. And it's all just a terrible shame.

The first film is tons of fun, it's loving, it's bright, it's got some dark moments, but mostly in the form of dark humour. It's got a sarcastic old man showing some smart ass rookie the ropes, great buddy cop dynamic, and Vincent D'onofrio is hilarious in every scene he's in. Through fantastic physical comedy, he's able to project that he's too big for his skin, every movement is a laugh. It's a brilliant performance.

The MiB themselves are portrayed in a kind light, they welcome aliens to Earth, treat them kindly, they mostly act to keep them safe and secret. The only time they act with aggression or violence are when the aliens are putting humans in danger.

Now, in MiB3, the agency is shown to be a bunch of racist cops, they shoot first and never ask questions. We're greeted with some Chinese people, dressed in medieval Chinese clothes, but what's this, they turn out be gross slugs, whom the MiB kill on the grounds they're not human. Later we meet a mystic wearing a turban, but surprise, he's not a middle-eastern man, he's got a huge alien head under that turban. Then there's a really odd scene, with J back in the 1960s, he steals a car and gets pulled over by some racist cops because he's a black man driving a nice car. He erases their memory and says shame on them for assuming he stole the car, even though he did, and drives off. Him and K have been, and continue harassing and killing aliens for the sole crime of being alien the entire movie, the movie is condoning this.

This is a huge contrast to the first film. Take for example the beginning, the MiB tell the INS to fuck off, welcomes the Mexican immigrants to America, and then deal with the real dangerous alien, peacefully (well until he tries to kill the INS agent). If that were the K from MiB3, he would have let the INS take the Mexicans, and probably tell a racist joke, after shooting the alien dead of course.

Note also this scene:

Reggie is breaking the law, K stays kind and cool, both agents congratulate him on being a new father and let him go on his way. Also the World Trade Center is in the background.
Now, i can't say that MiB3 is bringing to attention horrible attitudes and racism in the wake of September 11th, but it certainly is built on those things. This movie is condensed xenophobia.

K: All right, kid, here's the deal. At any given time there are approximately 1500 aliens on the planet, most of them right here in Manhattan. And most of them are decent enough, they're just trying to make a living.
J:Cab drivers?
K: Not as many as you'd think.
 i'll let you imagine how that conversation would play out in MiB3.

Now the next issue i have is with Boris the Animal, played by renowned funnyman Jemaine Clement. i bring up the fact that he's known for being funny, to point out how unfunny Boris is, not that they try to make him funny mind you. He's evil, he kills, he growls, he has a bug for a hand that shoots needles. He's also the last of his species and drives around on a ridiculous space motorcycle.

Bring back Sheriff Lobo.
The thing about Lobo, he's a parody, he's not meant to be taken at face value. i've heard rumours that some comic books have taken him seriously, which i don't doubt, but i've been lucky enough to not encounter, until Boris anyway. No offense to Jemaine, but it's not like he gets hired because of his ungodly acting talents, he gets roles because he's awkward and hilarious, why are we casting someone like that for a role that has zero humour? Edgar the Bug, killed people sure, but i already went over what he a joy he was to watch as he did so. Just watch the restaurant scene in the first film, he kills those two guys, while hunched over, a look of evil glee on his face, and then stomps out of the restraunt like Frankenstein's monster. It's a fun thing to watch. Boris on the other hand, blows a hole in space prison, holds on with his ugly claw feet, and let's the woman that freed him get blown out into space, he then bounds around the moon awkwardly, all with zero expression on his face.
And tying back to my main point of this film being racist and fucked up, all the problems are caused because K didn't kill Boris back in the 60s. So guess who gets exploded into a pile of goo at the end of the movie?(Before he even shows his true self i might add!)
It's a big fuck you to everything the first film stood for.

Oh yeah, this film hates art as well, while back in the 60s it's revealed that Andy Warhol isn't real, no he isn't some alien like Elvis, he's an undercover MiB agent, who hates art, and is only doing whacky stuff so he can blend in with the aliens. The undercover agent even tells J he's a moron for liking his work. Yeah, sorry, wrap it up art, you've been had.  Not that it would really matter if somehow, for some reason, art was created as a joke, but it just seems to be this snide "Haha, we fooled those artsy intellectuals, what a bunch schmucks!" And that tied with the xenophobia, just wears me out.

No idea why they thought such a downer of a ending would be touching either.
You sucked all the fun out of my summer MiB3.

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