Sunday, October 18, 2009

blood sucker review: part one

or: pardon me, but your teeth are in my neck.

from dusk till dawn

i loved this movie, the vampires don't even show up until an hour in, and in that hour there is no indication of it becoming a vampire movie, that's just brilliant. it just seems mostly a crime thriller, with some black humour thrown in, and then suddenly, holy shit, vampires. i keep finding myself wanting to say zombies instead of vampires when talking about this movie, i think mostly because the vampires did seem a mindless and monsterous lot, well moreso the vampire bats that show up after all the stripper and bartender zombies vampires are down. i did really like that they took the aspects of other animals, like salma hayek being snake like, and sex machine turning into a giant rat like thing, evil is more than just bats! i also quite enjoyed the reveal of the pyramid at the end.
typical robert rodreguiz flick, so of course i liked it.

four out of five


interview with the vampire

can't believe i hadn't seen this movie before. despite tom cruise it's actually quite good, shocking i know. there's a lot to like about this movie, the way the vampires look was done quite well, there's this odd not quite human quality about them, and how they would accentuate the veins both in the humans as warm and lively and in the vampires as cold and dead. i also liked that they knew nothing of their own history, what they were, where they came from and so on. and kirsten dunst's character was an interesting, forever a child. so yes, brad pitt was a bit mopey, tom cruise was crazy and annoying, well actually maybe that's why this role worked for him, he didn't have to act. but it's a great story and really quite entertaining. biggest complaint being the horrible cover of sympathy for the devil at the end. could they not get the rights for the original? was guns n' roses such a big band at the time they ignored that it was a horrible cover?
don't get me wrong, i love guns n' roses, however sympathy for the devil is one of my favourite songs and that cover is bad, and they should feel bad!

four out five


fearless vampire killers

this movie is about mark twain and roman polanski doing a lot of nothing, and then suddenly vampires. honestly i don't know what polanski was going for here. there was scarce action, little dialogue, no plot, and really bad make-up. it did have some clever moments though, like the cross not working on a jewish vampire, and the humans getting discovered at the vampires ball because of their reflections in the mirror. but that's it, two funny moments in an hour and forty minutes. sharon tate looked hot and was in the bathtub a lot, so it had that going for it...
this movies biggest crime is that it's boring, doesn't work a vampire movie or as a satire.
i really tried to like it, but alas it was just bad.

two (and a half) out of five


let the right one in

already covered this one actually.

five out of five



what is wrong with people? how is this film not considered a joke by all? just ahhhh.
and what kills me is the directors of these movies. the guy behind hard candy and 30 days of night is directing the third one, that blew my mind, i liked hard candy, and loved 30 days. then i find out the director of twilight is the woman that did thirteen, i mean really? how can you go from that to twilight? and the one that's coming out now is directed by the guy that did the golden compass, which i enjoyed, the visuals were impressive, ending it without resolution was a really bad idea, however it was entertaining. better than the harry potter movies anyway. yes i went there. hell those movies only got one decent director.
the story is horrible, codependent annoying girl and obsessive stalker glittery bloodsucker are both annoying. it's not love, it's not entertaining, the acting is nonexistent, there are no redeeming factors. well okay watching ashley greene pitch was pretty entertaining, but the concept of that baseball game was so fucking stupid.
just bad. baaaad.

one out of five

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